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Letting Go

Letting Go

This page is dedicated to Shadows, Moppet, Squeak, Joey, Noodle, Malu, Daisy, Pumpkin, Mr B and all those sweet furry bodies that graced our home, even if it was only for a short time.

One of the most significant lessons that our short-lived pets teach us is to let go.

I have lost many animals over the decades, some losses have been gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, don’t know that I will ever really get over losing my 7 year-old Maine Coon or funny little Mr B. But other times, the passing was easy, natural… my sweet Shadows died last week, at 15, she had lived a good life, and most definitely on her terms. She suddenly stopped eating and over the course of three days, she peacefully checked out. She decided to spend her last few days in the upstairs hallway, warm and comfortable, right out in the open so we could all stop and love her for a few moments on our way past. No fuss, no muss, no bother…. she simply allowed herself to go… As I was awakening the morning of Dec 8, I saw her mother, Malu, come for her with the reminder that she had died on the same day 5 days earlier. Then a second later, I saw Shadows gleefully fly off into space. When I had checked on her an hour earlier, she moved a paw to acknowledge my presence – that was probably her last act…

Her final message to me as she flew off was to note the date, as her mother had…. The day before, she had heard me tell Pat that we didn’t want her to die on his birthday (Dec 7), and she agreed. We had discussed whether we could take her to the vet to be put to sleep, but because we needed to fix the car before we could go anywhere, we agreed to wait one day…. she didn’t appear to be suffering at all, was just very quietly allowing herself to leave her body… This gentle little being seemed to have worked things out so I would be forced to live up to my agreement with her… she was such a skittish little girl…. two years ago, I tried to give her some meds for parasites – she got so upset that for two weeks she only came home after dark and only long enough to eat and sleep, wouldn’t come near me…. until I told her that I would never do that again, and furthermore, I wouldn’t try to take her to a vet, that when it came time to go, she could die at home, on her own terms… and so she did…

Writing about my babies is one of the ways I let go… another is to honour them… every summer I grow some daisies in my garden for Daisy, and all of the furry bodies we have loved and lost. Next summer I will find a special rock to place in the tomato patch for Shadows… I disturbed her sleep so many times last summer when I went out to weed and then to pick the tomatoes… A good rock in her place will be a wonderful reminder of her funny ways….

So, in Shadows honour, and for all those who have gone before her… here we respond to your questions about letting go… we do understand how painful the loss of our pet friends can be..

I have spent all of my savings looking for my very missed pet, so please forgive me for asking a brief question. My bird flew off a bit over 2 months ago, will I ever see her again? is she in someones home out of area of my ads? did she die..is she still out there ? can you try to put my hurt heart to rest? love your site! love, Jen Help support my bird rescue, buy a treasure! www.proudparront.com.

It’s so very difficult when our pets leave. I don’t think that you will find your girl again. There are many predators in the skies for parrots, hawks and crows are very fierce competitors. The best thing to do is to release the desire for her and allow her to go on. I hope she will find herself in a new home. I have found that when someone is lucky enough to find a parrot they seldom try to find the previous owner. They seem to think it’s a gift from nature and that the previous owner just let the bird out by neglect so they feel justified in keeping the bird. Desire that kind of scenario for her so she can have people pampering her again. Put your heart to rest.

There is nothing you have control over in this situation. Let it go so you can start to heal. Sometimes we have other people’s pets for awhile.

Know that you were good to her and did your very best. Let go and let God bring you peace Love, Laura

I read your article about finding a lost pet. I was wondering if it’s possible to find a pet several years later. We had a Husky and when we moved, my mom decided that he would be better off with someone else, so she left him near a farm. Problem is, every couple months or so, I’ll start thinking about him a whole lot, and with no idea whether he’s alive or not…I never really connected with him psychically–hadn’t learned about it when we got him–but I do occasionally communicate with my dogs I have now. Is it possible to communicate with him? Sabrina,

It is certainly possible, but not probable. I think the main reason you still think about him is that you had no closure with leaving him near the farm. Chances are pretty high that the farmer shot him rather than let a strange dog come on his property. Husky’s look a lot like a wolf. Your mother should have taken him to a rescue place or adoption center, Their are husky rescue sites where you can give your dog to mushers. Even the pound would have given him a better chance than dropping him off in the country.

That said, you need to let go of it! It’s in the past and there is NO WAY that you can go back and “fix it”. Your mother did what she thought was best for the dog and the family at the time. Now you know better. There are many positive choices for animals if their families can’t take them along to their new house. Even having an animal put down is preferable to just “letting them go to find a new home”. It just means the discarded pet become someone’s stray animal problem. In the country that usually means a bullet.

It’s the responsibility issue that has you on the horns of a dilemma but you need to just let go of what’s past and do the responsible thing in the future. That is the lesson this husky dog has taught you and hopefully your family.

To answer your question; No, you will not find him if you did go back to look. LET GO OF IT! Don’t take on ANY animals unless you are committed to keeping them with you for the duration of their life. Be easy with yourself and your mother, Love, Laura

Coping With Grief: The Loss of a Beloved Pet
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