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Empathy Can Be a Pain!

Being an empath can present some interesting challenges in life… and it can even hurt… It is uncomfortable for me to be near someone who has just had some physical injury or surgery..  my body cringes and reacts to the pain in the other person… if they’ve hurt their thumb, my thunb will throb… although I may not feel thier pain very strongly, it is quite disturbing. Here is a letter from one of our visitors that explains just how disturbing being empathic can be. 

I have issues with lights going off. It probably happens I would say an average of about 50 times a month. Sometimes it happens 10 times a night. Its all different kinds of lights. First started with street lights, then lights on buildings then lights everywhere, in stores, in my house, in other peoples houses, anywhere I go that’s dark outside lights go out.

That’s not the only thing though. I have a very strange sense when people are not there normal self. e.g. mad happy angry, sad, worried, nervous… Any type of emotion. I can call someone and all they say is hello and I immediately can tell there is something wrong and I ask. Sometimes they tell me, sometimes they don’t. More so than not. It’s like I can feel their emotions. I can tell when something is wrong. I HATE IT!!! I want it to go away. It screws with my relationships.

This isn’t the only thing though. When I was about 13 I spoke to my neighbor’s mom and dad in the garage of their house. She had passed away 1 year before that. I did not know that until a conversation I had with my mom took place. I was saying how I spoke with her and she greeted me with my name. Well, even if she had been alive, she had alzheimers since I was about 8. She could not possibly remember my name. That’s how it got started with my mom. Then she told me that she was passed for a year. Chills shot through me, my hair stood up and my skin chilled.

I can walk by a radio and static will follow my movements. I heard a voice inside of my last apartment the first day I visited it. What is strange is that I was holding my girlfriend’s hand walking through and we both heard it. It was not in English and it was a very distinct man’s voice. The apartments lights turned on and off by themselves the entire time I lived  there. Cabinets and doors would open and shut by them selves. Both me and my x girlfriend experienced these things in this house so I know I’m not crazy. lol. I would hear foot steps in the middle of the night and voices and dogs barking and snarling. Needles to  say, I got out of there as soon as I could. I’ve taken plenty of pictures within that apartment. In most of the pictures I found orbs of different shapes sizes and brightness in the pics. One of the pictures I counted up  to 25 orbs!!!! If anyone is interested in seeing these please email me and I will share. This apartment was brand new I was the first occupant. From day 1 to the last day I lived there I felt like I wasn’t alone, even when I was. I only felt haunted one night the entire time I was there, of course I was alone and I might have been dreaming but for a dream…. it seemed  VERY realistic.

I constantly have dejavu. Some instances last up to 1 minute of me being able to call out everything that’s going on. I have no control over them, but when it happens I know I’ve heard and seen these  exact things before. I’m talking about EXACT conversation with people that I had just met in some occasions. I have guessed a persons set up of their house when I had never even been there. I explained where the TV was the door the windows the closets how big the room was. etc etc etc… I just met this girl and I was just joking around about it but then suddenly it became freaky and I scared this girl half to death. She thought I was at her house. It freaked me out too. I caught one of my xgf cheating on me  because of a feeling I had. I’m 100% trusting with people until they lie to me. She of course had lied to me and I had a feeling she did it again and went over to some random dudes house and there she was…in his bed… I  can tell when some one is lying probably 90% of the time. I can’t read  peoples minds but I can read their emotions and piece things together to figure out what they are thinking. I answer people questions before they finish asking it. Sometimes I can answer a yes or no question before the person starts asking it. It’s like I know they are going to. and I say yes, then they ask me and look at me weird, unless they are use to being around me. If I tell some one I think I’m psychic or wtvr they ask me what they are thinking… I cant answer that question. I can never do something on command. So no one believes me. Everyone thinks I’m just full of it. I told people about the lights going off and how its linked to being psychic and a lot of people have witnessed that phenomenon. some still do not believe me though. I don’t expect them to cause its sounds FREAKIN WEIRD!!!! even to me. I do not understand what’s going on with me… but I would like some help to figure it out. There is MUCH more than what I’ve typed in this passage. I’ve seen things, heard things that are unexplainable. I feel like I might have an ability that I can not control. Help!!! My grand mother on my mother side had ESP. she has some VERY interesting  stories but I will share them later, for right now I’m interested in figuring out what the hell is going on with me. John

Hi there John.. while reading your email.. I could literally feel your frustration coming from you… firstly what I want to say is I do feel very strongly you are actually an “Empathic” There are three phases or stages of being an empath

1st = you picking up others emotions… such as happiness… sadness… teary… etc all of what you said yourself,

2nd = is you picking up others pain.. in which we empathics do tend to pick up pain from others before they actually experience it themselves and we also tend to pick up the pain from others worse than the actual person does themselves,
 
3rd = we have what we call intellectual shape shifting… in which is us empaths tend to finish other people’s sentences and/or know exactly what another is thinking…

I personally feel very strongly that you are an empath John and hope this explains one part of your puzzle for you… I also would like to suggest for you to start grounding and protecting yourself (this won’t stop you feeling everything but will help lessen what you are feeling)…

You can also call on any Archangel John to take what feelings etc that don’t belong to you to take them from you… trust this will also work as it does….

I also want to say John that the reason I feel for the doors… breeze etc is because spirit are trying to contact you as in get a message through to you… now you may not be getting the message as you aren’t sure what’s going on… I can tell you that you are not crazy and to try and tell some people what you hear… see… think, feel is very hard as a lot of other people have never experienced what we ourselves have and do… so in turn others do have a very hard time understanding and having faith in us.. I feel this is the case until something happens…. something you say comes true, then you will find others believing in you. But personally, John, I wouldn’t worry about how others feel about your gifts… as I feel you have a lot of learning to do and also feel that you have a male guide coming to you… who is going to be a very powerful guide… Native American… and will be with you to help guide you on your path.

John I truly hope this helps you some….. sending you much love… health and happiness, blessings, Love & Light xxx Karen

17 Comments
  1. Empathy can be a pain or a great gift. I agree with Karen that as an Empath you must use G&P (grounding and protection). You can’t turn your empathy off but you can turn to volume down.

    The trick is to control the empathy and not let it control you.

    Every living thing bleeds energy, as an empath you become the lightning conductor drawing this energy to you, your body becomes a capacitor for this energy storing it up. So as you pass electrical things like pc’s radio lights etc that stored energy is released (like attracts like) Like electricity is an energy that needs to be grounded so does our energy. Visualise roots coming out of your toes or your root chakra into Mother Earth, so that you then become a coduit and that energy can flow through your body safely to earth rather than being stored.

    For protection visualise a bubble of light surrounding you, you can increase the strength when extra protection is needed.

    Most Empaths are healers ……..think about it, why were you given this gift except to help others. Let me prove it to you, hold your fingers millimeters apart almost touching…you can feel the tingle and the heat between them. Another way hold your left hand 6 inches above your forarm move it slowly closer to your arm till you feel the exchange of energy then slowly move your hand up to your elbow you will feel the energy rippling up your arm…try it. Empaths tap into the universal energy which can be used to channel healing to other’s…….. Reiki practitioners use this energy as do most healers.

    I used to be a recluse I couldn’t go out or be with others as I felt the emotions and pain of others Emathy was a curse…then I was shown how to ground and protect..the volume has been turned down now I can use my empathy to help those that need it.

    Everyone at some point has said I can empathise with you to others ……..but we as empaths really understand the word and what a pain it can be uncontrolled.

  2. John, great message! I too have dealt with the same issues my entire life. Until recently, the last year and a half, I just thought that there was something wrong with me, I felt pain everyday of my life, except one day, it was very memorable, I awoke and my first though was, “I don’t feel any pain”! I went throught the entire day without aches and pains, I think my guides were trying to show me back then, that I didn’t have to feel that. I never learned that it wasn’t MY pain, I just pick up every ache and pain and emotional “crap” from everyone around me. Just a couple of years ago, I was ready to leave this earthly life! It was just TOO hard,TOO painful, then, thank God, I met some wonderful, or should I say, I was guided to some great people who taught me that I don’t have to feel that, they taught me how to block and ground and protect myself. Today, I feel absolutely fabulous, healthy, happy and SO eager to develop my abilities even farther! You don’t have to “wear” all that crap, learn how to protect yourself and you will be able to use your wonderful abilities to help others! Good Luck!

  3. Hi… I just wanted to add, thank you to Steve as I also feel us empaths are healers in my eyes also, I know I myself am a spiritual healer and have my Reiki1 although just words in themselves for us empaths can be enough for someone.

    I also believe we as empaths do take an awful lot on and find a very simple word as in “No” very hard to say to others… saying that I would never ever turn anyone away… If I can help someone I will.

    I also agree with you about us controlling Empathy and not Empathy controlling us… the trick I feel here is to learn to separate your own feelings from others, once you have done this I feel you have climbed a major hurdle.

    For all fellow empaths I wish us all the very best and please always know as empaths we are never ever alone…blessings,

    Love & Light xxx Karen

  4. Amazing stuff here, John!

    My Reiki Master had that pain years ago. It was only when he realised that those were there for a reason that it subsides.

    Thanks for sharing

  5. I stumbled upon this blog looking for answers. I have recently begun to experience physical pain from others. Before this last week I only picked up on emotions and had precognitive dreams. Suddenly I am feeling all symptoms of my boss who has been gravely ill and in the hospital (we barely know each other!). I knew something would happen before he got sick and as his condition worsened I started suffering with him. Once he was sedated for surgery I started feeling alot better. Wondering what is happening with me and how I can protect myself properly.

  6. Blessings Michelle… I would have to say that yes you are empathic and are starting to pick up emotions and pain which are 2 types of empathy we have… I also feel you really do need protection as seems and feels to me that you is that at the minute you are basically an open book… also very vunerable to others emotions, pain etc… could i suggest you call on Archangel Michael and ask him to place his cloak (colbat) in colour around you for protection… you can also visualise many, many things to protect you michelle such as a place or a piece of clothing that you feel really safe at and in, either visualise yourself being in this place or having this clothing on which will also help protect you…

    I do feel us empaths are very open if we do not protect and ground also as i say i feel you (and all of us fellow empaths) are like an open book and so vunerable of picking up others emotions and pain etc…

    What you have experienced is infact yourself picking up on your boss’s illness (this doesn’t matter if you both barely know each other or not) and when your boss was being sedated for surgery, you started to feel a lot better as your boss was totally relaxed at this stage… can I also suggest you maybe start meditating also as this in itself will help you gain control over this and also visualise a beautiful golden colour coming towards you when you are putting up your protection and see this golden colour swirling all around you from your head to your toe… and each day when you ground and protect see these golden swirls building up more and more, becoming thicker and thicker… I truly hope this is of help to you… sending you much health and happiness,

    Love & Light xxx Karen

  7. I’m also comeing here for answers, this week I started geting a strong tingleing in certain areas of my body, for example from my left sholder down to the elbow and sometime extending trough my back. Stuff like the stuff that is mentioned above has happened to me too. But I don’t tend to notice some of it.
    Always when I was little, and still now, I make freinds with people that end up haveing trouble with freinds or family in life. One example is my first freind in the town that I live in now. I asked if I could sit at the table she was sitting at one day and that summer her best freind moved away.
    And the summer before my great grandma (dad’s side) died I past the town where my grandpa (one of her sons) lived and I just started crying, but I don’t know where in that town he lives so my aunt (mom’s side) and I visited my great grandma and I went down the hallway that she used to be in but she wasn’t there and then my aunt brought me to her room. Early in the next year my Mor-mor IMed me and asked if she could call. She did and she told me that she had had her second stroke, and that she was going to die soon.
    My freinds don’t always see eye to eye and before everyone blew up at eachother the air was heavy with tension, and it was very blown up from what I get when I’m around another one of my freinds and her mom.
    I have the feeling of being watched when I’m not. I belive in ghosts, one night I woke up looked out of my doorway and into the hall and saw a man at the end of it.
    It’s also akward to walk through school and go to work and pick up on random things, but their good mini conversation startes.
    I have to hit the pillow and get some sleep. Night/Morning/Afternoon
    -Megann

  8. I was going to start with you guys have no idea how happy I am to find you, but what would be the point of that huh?! lol.

    I am an empath. I have been my entire life, but did not realize it until later. I have always gravitated to people that need help. Usually emotionally. It was the basis of attraction for all of my boyfriends and even now my husband.

    About 16 years ago I became a solitary witch. It was then I stated getting a clue as to what was going on about me.

    I pick up people’s emotions big time. Especially negative ones. I feel them and know what they are more or less thinking by that. It is how I read tarot cards successfully. I always stae I am an empathic reader. Dissention makes me ill.

    It has never bothered me until about 2 years ago when it started getting stronger on me. I started to look for answers and then let it go. Well this has been a very very bad past year for me. My best friend and mentor committed suicide while I was on the phone with her. That she wanted my voice to be the last she heard is a blessing gift itself, but the guilt that has ensued is incredible. I knew on some level what she was doing, but she kept blocking me. Made me believe she was ok. I feel like I have failed miserably as a healer, empath and most especially a friend. It got worse as my Mom passed away this year also. I knew something was wrong but as she lives far from me, I could only keep trying to reach her by phone. Her passing was peaceful and quick as she would have wanted it, but it tears me up she was alone.

    I do not feel people’s pain physically. Or at least I thought I didn’t. After reading here, I am wondering now. I have a multitude of physical ailments. Heart, thyroid, seizure, neck, back (diff points), hip, knee and foot and also had some eye issues at one point. I am wondering now if this isn’t because I take so much on myself. Emotionally and physically.

    I am juggling a multitude of situations right now, along with what I have mentioned. I have a very hard time saying no to someone. I will take alot of abuse as a friend, but do have a cut off point. It hurts very badly and I feel I leave a piece of my heart behind, but I will close off at that point. It is incredibly hard for me to do.

    Since this past year, I have found myself shutting off from the world more and more. I do get on the phone and net though. Recently there has been a huge point of dissention at my major support group on the net. While I do respect their opinions on the matter and recognize their voices, some are not totally understanding mine as they have no clue as to what empath is or what it entails. I have never really announced empath before, but have dropped clues. The member in question is in bad mental state. I feel it oozing from her emails and posts. In my opinion what she has done (which was wrong) does not cover the fact she was grieving when it happened and needs our help. The point being, the dissention there is also hurting me. Especially the arrows invisibly slung at me for being ‘difficult’.

    So now my 4 major points of support are gone or tainted in my life. My Mom and friend have passed away. My one best friend and I (also an empath/healer) parted ways for almost a year and now we are friends again, but I so miss what it was before. And now my net support is tearing. Not ruined mind you as this is a wonderful caring group, but it has been torn. I am afloat and do not know what to do next. I feel very alone and confused. i am being bombarded by emotions from all around me in a time of grief and it is too much.

    I came here seeking answers to control the input of emotions I am recieving. I have read above and am delighted in what I see. I will be trying all the methods above to see what works for me.

    For this I thank you with all my heart. Is it ok to come here and post occasionally too? It is so great to talm to thers like me. I am feeling quite alone with it all.

    Brightest Blessings,
    Vicki

    btw…I am in the midst of moving my website, so the enclosed link may not be viable as of yet.

  9. hello i have too recently discovered i am an empath i am only 14 is that considered young? i dont experiance pain but ever since my witch friend predicted my future something happened between our minds and i started acknoledging my empathness. she senses somethinf special and rare in me. all i honestly want is to help others how can i help brighten others and heal them mentally? and protect myself without having to go and get a reiki master. ive read many many asonsighing articles saying that this is a curse and its a sighn on the devil in our souls but i dont beleive any of that i look at this as a blessing and all i want it to help people. i guess the attitude i have toward this is what my friend meant when she said i have a rare soul =) so please help me someone how do i start grounding and protecting so that i may help others. also ive read that many people feel physical pain. i dont get that but i can sense emotions presences and i get very very weak emotional and i get headaches. until i learn to get stronger i must protect myself somone please help!

  10. Hi – I have been on the net for the last couple of weeks looking for similar experiences to mine (and prior to this time, I have never posted anything on the web!). I would like to send a hug to all of you, but esp to Vicki – reading your message rang so true to me as I have been through something that is different but feels like a similar energy and experience. I moved back to my home country last year and had ended up helping (as best I could) two people close to me who had hugely difficult emotional problems..now, however, I find that I have actually helped them by transferring their pain (incl their physical symptoms) on to me. In this process I have started to become v aware that my abilities as an empath are actually having a negative effect. I am starting to find some good sites for protection and healing (though v bothered by these sites that seem to ultimately try to sell u something!)…so I just want to share with you that you are not alone, and there will be a way to move beyond these experiences – I have total faith in this! but it is really helpful to find that this isn’t something to go through alone x

  11. Hi—I’ve wondered for a long time what it was ‘with me’ and why I pick up on things about people around me? I knew I wasnt a full-blown psychic, but my intuition is very strong–sometimes more than other times, and I have panic attacks when I’m around alot of people at one time, and that’s the truly difficult part, other than having no one understand what happens when that is going on.
    I’ve had paranormal occurances happen to me (never seen spirits, but touched/pushed and annoyed to the brink of insanity by them)–and not alot of my friends can even conceive what I’m telling them about this stuff.
    I finally ran across some people online who insisted I look into Empathy. I did, but still couldnt say I experience pain, physical pain from others, but emotional pain, YES. (There have been a few times when I felt sick all of a sudden and then it just went away, or my back mysteriously begins to itch after my husband has complained about his back itching and needing lotion rubbed on it. )
    But, it’s more about People. I know what they’re ‘getting at instead of verbally saying’, too. That’s my strongest symptom. Being able to get inside a persons mind and understand what they feel/mean. I can sense their happiness or anger. Jealousy or hatred. Hatred is the hardest to deal with. Its so intense and just feels so dark and empty.
    Sometimes, I dont like this because it makes me panic even more to be around these feelings.
    I think I connect with animals very well, especially dogs. I bond with them closely, but I love all types of animals–and have a deep love of bears(??)

    I believe this is called Intellectual Shape Shifting, right?
    I’m always looking for answers and asking why about many things concerning spiritual matters, the paranormal, as my mind always seems to ‘be there’—even while plodding through everyday life.
    My sister, who has passed, was a dreamer…having dreams that came true. My father has seen visions while awake that came true later, and is a very spiritual man.
    Thanks for having a place for me to learn about this…
    D

  12. Hi Darlene, Christopher Ree here for Global Psychics. You certainly are an empath. Being an empath usually tunes one into other people’s emotions. In a particularly sensitive person there is the conveyance of physical sensations or pain. You appear to be very sensitive. Learn how to filter and screen outside sensations. With practice you can do this. Learn how to separate your feelings from others’. Love, Light, & Laughter, Christopher Ree

  13. Im 16 yars old and I don’t really know much of being an empathic..or even if i am.. but all my life I hid the fact that I could sense other people’s emotions. I never told anyone because I always considered myself a freak. Being the only one –I originally thought-that could feel those things. I’m glad im not. But I still want to know more.. and again im still not sure if I am actually an empathic.. but I do know I can sense other’s emotions and pain. Sometimes it gets to be to much.. but I want to know about being an empathic and.. can you control what you feel?

  14. Honestly, I’ve been empathic all my life to the point I could feel others intent, which I confused with my own on a lot of occasions. Until recently when I believe I became sick and had a blow-out. During this time, I ended up in-taking how others think and feel to me. And as time passed, I ended up one way or another running into people who told me I wasn’t empathetic and I believed them so much since I ran into so many child like minds during this time that now I can’t feel anything others feel. It annoyed the crap out of me all my life since I hung around an indecisive father who ever since I was little I grew up being as indecisive as him because he never really let up on me one second upon his expectations on me; and now I believe I tricked myself into not being empathic anymore. If I were to get the level of empathy that I had before I got sick back again, I would know now to learn to not care about some of the feelings that I came across, which was my point of view on how to control myself. Since I do remember when I did feel what others have felt and trying the whole grounding technique to root the energy to the ground, but that either made the intent stronger or didn’t do much good for me. So to learn not to care about some of the feelings you feel is a good way to control yourself in my opinion, and if I could get this feeling back, I would remember to do this as well finally.

  15. I mean that does sound kinda harsh and messed up coming from an empath to and empath, but I honestly believe this could be one way one can truly put their foot down and not be confused with the energy they intake.

  16. Hi Corbin! I’m Karen from globals here… you could try the mirror method as protection – visualise mirrors outwardly and right around your entire body, or you could visualise Archangel Michael wrapping his cloak around you… there are lots of different methods of grounding & protecting… I feel its a matter of personal choice and what the client/fellow empath feels themselves…
    The key with being an Empathic is yes to distinguish your own feelings from others – which can be done and yes we are always in “Control” – I also feel that a lot of people actually have no idea they are indeed empathic so dont have the help from fellow people which is sad… I think the more “Empathy” is spoke about – the more people everywhere will get to realise if they have this gift or not..

    L&L xxx Karen

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